Depth of the Yes

By Mallorie Gerwitz

                                      

In my journey to religious life, many thoughts have run through my mind.  What will my family think of me?  Why am I being called to this life? How will my ‘Yes’ continue to shape me in the years to come?  Anxiety, confusion and sometimes-overwhelming stress can be part of the discernment process.  Remaining calm in my heart has been a challenge.  I often wrestle with the call like Mary in the song "Breath of Heaven (Mary’s Song)," sung by Amy Grant: “You have chosen me… I am waiting… I am frightened by the load I bear.  Do you look upon my face and wonder if a wiser one should have had my place?  But I offer all I am for the mercy of your plan.  Help me be strong, help me.”

            I share this because the questions are REAL and deep within me.  If I were able to talk to Mary in the flesh, I’m quite certain that she herself had similar questions and was unsure of the, ‘Yes.’  It seems that we wake up to the call within us over time.  I do not and will not always have the answers in me or that those around me seek.  I simply pray that in my truth-seeking, I will somehow be a witness and a light in the world.

            I cannot know how my ‘Yes’ will continue to shape me in the years to come.  It is not a choice I make just once; it is not black and white.   I pray that I remain AWAKE to Christ, even in the gray areas and the confusing times, and especially in the poor and marginalized.  The joy of which Pope Francis speaks may not flow from a one-time, emphatic YES.  Rather, it is a daily choice to wake up and get out of bed, faithfully praying, “I offer all that I am for the Mercy of God’s plan.”

 MEET THE BLOGGER

Name: Mallorie Gerwitz

Congregation: Sisters of Charity of Leavenworth ​

Stage of formation: ​Second Year Candidate​

Hometown: ​West Valley, New York ​

Current Ministry: MOSAIC, an agency that serves those with Intellectual and Physical Disabilities