Thanksgiving, Part II: Moving from Thanks to Giving

By Sr. Tracy Kemme, SC Federation Temporary Professed

      Click HERE to learn more about Tracy
      
      Click HERE to learn more about the SC Federation

On retreat in May, my director invited me to spend some time reflecting on gratitude, but there was a block in me.  Whenever I started to feel inklings of awe, my heart and mind became flooded with the injustice, poverty, and violence of the world.  I saw the faces of marginalized people that I meet through my ministry, and my heart winced.  How could I have the audacity to be grateful in the face of such pain and oppression?

I shared this with my director, and she smiled gently.  “Please, tell me: how is your guilt making life better for those struggling people?”

Now it was my turn to smile.  I looked down and then back up.  “I guess it’s not.”

“Exactly.  You neglecting to give thanks for the goodness in your life isn’t noble, and it doesn’t help anybody,” she continued.  “God rejoices in your gratitude just as God rejoices in your compassion.”

In his book Sacred Fire, Ronald Rohlheiser says that “gratitude is the basis of all holiness.”  Living in deep gratitude to the Creator is, for him, the first sign of a mature spirituality.  “The highest compliment we can give to a gift giver is to enjoy the gift thoroughly,” he says.  “Our level of maturity and generativity is synonymous with our level of gratitude – and mature people enjoy their lives.”

Our level of generativity is synonymous with our level of gratitude.  As I talked with my spiritual director, I realized that authentic gratitude keeps on giving.  When our heart falls to its knees in awe and thanksgiving to our God, we are opened up.  Just as real love is infinite, inherently desiring to widen and expand and encompass everyone, real gratitude compels us to giving.  If we deeply reverence all as gift, given to us by a God of love to no merit of our own, we want all to share in the gift.  And the relationship shifts from gifts as objects to love for subjects – an awareness of our oneness.

On Christmas Eve during my first year in Ecuador, the Uguña family invited me to their family celebration.  After late Mass in the simple chapel across the street, we shuffled into their cement block home.  A lovely folding table was set with plastic ware, and Christmas music wafted through the air.  The three boys taught me dance moves while chicken and rice emerged from the kitchen in Mamá Jenny’s loving hands.  At midnight, we ate, and we sat around the table for a long time.  Then, almost as an afterthought, Oscar, the father of the family, arose and said, “Los regalos!”

Jenny and her three boys, a few years after
that first memorable Christmas Eve. 

Each child opened one small gift, and they were exuberant.  Jenny and Oscar beamed to watch the delight of their children.  My heart burst as I took in the scene; I know how even three gifts were a financial sacrifice for the couple.  Then, Oscar motioned to the boys, and they ran excitedly to the bedroom to retrieve a small box.  The oldest thrust it into Jenny’s hands.

Her eyes met Oscar’s in soft surprise, and he winked.  She smiled deep motherly love at her three boys and opened the gift.  It was a small piece of cardboard pierced by two sets of tiny earrings.  She took them in with sweet gratitude, and then she set them aside, engulfing her children in a warm embrace.

Releasing them from the hug, she removed the earrings from the cardboard.  Then, seamlessly, she turned to me and handed me one of the pairs.  I must have looked perplexed, because she nodded toward her extended palm and said, “Para tí!  Feliz Navidad.”

I had probably thirty pairs of earrings in my bedroom at the house.  Jenny had almost nothing for herself.  I resisted.  But no amount of protesting would keep Jenny from sharing her gift with me.

I walked home that night with a pair of earrings in my pocket and a lesson in my heart.

It was never about the earrings.  It was about being a family and sharing love, a love that says, “All are invited.”  Jenny is deeply grateful and uncomfortably generous.  Jenny is one of the holiest people I know.

Sometimes, after an encounter with people like Jenny and Oscar, “the poor,” people from privileged U.S. classes say things like, “It just reminded me how blessed I am.  I’m going to be so much more grateful.”  And that’s it.  Like somehow God chose to bless me and not the other people, and that’s okay.  Whew, thank God I’m one of the fortunate ones!  That’s not mature, generative gratitude.

True gratitude plunges us into deeper relationship with God and all that God created.  We are free to relish the goodness of our lives, and we are urged to create more goodness in the world around us.  True gratitude compels us to service of the Reign of God.

This Thanksgiving, let us give thanks, deep, rooted, awe-filled thanks to our Creator.  But let’s not stop there, trapped in our personal table of bounty, in our private circle of loved ones.  Let’s open ourselves to the urging of gratitude:  we give thanks, and then we give ourselves fully to striving for justice and peace for all.

Thanksgiving, Part I: Getting a Gr-attitude Adjustment

By Sr. Tracy Kemme, SC Federation Temporary Professed

      Click HERE to learn more about Tracy
      
      Click HERE to learn more about the SC Federation

“Primero, quiero dar gracias a Dios por otro día más de vida…”

First, I want to thank God for one more day of life.  Working with women’s empowerment groups on the dusty, poor outskirts of Guayaquil, Ecuador, I heard these words more times than I can count.  Our meetings began with prayer led by one of the participants, and, without fail, their prayers began with praising God.  After thanking God for being alive, the women often continued on to thank God for the sun, the sky, their children, their homes, and for their “daily bread.”  And these were not rote words.  Their eyes were shut lovingly, and their faces were strong with devotion as they prayed them.

Sitting in plastic chairs outside two room houses whose cane walls and dirt floors held heart-wrenching stories of poverty, hunger, alcoholism, and abuse, the words of thanksgiving that opened each prayer were particularly striking.  In the midst of all these women carried, their basic posture to God was fierce, deep gratitude for the gift of life.  Interesting how “the poor,” who at first glance had very little to be grateful for, taught me more about gratitude than anybody else.

***

Last week, I wasn’t feeling very grateful.  Ministry was draining me.  Along with the usual demands, I was walking with some parishioners in a particularly painful situation that required lots of time and emotion.  Overwhelmed and under-slept, I was cranky as could be.

On one of those cranky mornings, I flipped mindlessly through my Facebook feed.  A friend, Mark, who is a cancer survivor, had posted this, “Overwhelmed today with gratitude. I get to be busy. There was a time when I had to stop. I just keep trying to move forward and upward.”  I get to be busy.  It hit me.  Most mornings, I look over my schedule at all the things I have to do.  How different would it be if I started the day looking ahead at all the things I get to do?  I knew I needed an attitude adjustment, or more accurately, a gr-attitude adjustment.

There are many barriers to gratitude, and some are legitimate.  I don’t want to minimize the reality of life. Last week, I found out that a dear friend is sick, and it is heavy on my heart.  Stress and strained relationships are real.  We’re humans, and some days we’re just cranky.  I’ve been through depression, and I know it’s not something you can just throw off like bedcovers.  It doesn’t help to beat ourselves up when we struggle to be grateful.  And it doesn’t help to walk around in superficial optimism, either.

 Still, sometimes, we can make a shift.  There is a difference between sitting in the muck of life and wallowing in it.  Sitting in it, we are honest: we acknowledge it’s there, but we don’t have to writhe around in it like a dog in a mud puddle.  There’s a difference between a healthy vulnerability that allows us to share our struggles with others and being consumed with complaining.  There is some kind of warped pleasure I can get from clinging to the negative, from replaying scenes in my mind and repeating them to others.  It’s almost addictive.  Mark’s Facebook post reminded me that we have some choice in this cycle.

 

On the grumpy morning that I read his words, I dropped the phone and went to my journal.  I started writing:  I am alive.  The sun is shining.  I can breathe, and walk, and read, and write…and on and on.  Once I got started, the list took on a life of its own.  I was no longer overwhelmed with surface negativity but with awe.

It’s amazing what happens to us spiritually, psychologically, and physiologically when we begin to name what we’re grateful for.  It forces us to zoom out and view the big picture of our lives.  It doesn’t erase the reality of pain and struggle, but it puts it in perspective.  I should’ve known this; my Ecuadorian friends showed me.  Living authentic gratitude is a both-and.

Thank you, God, for another day of life.


...Go to next blog entry for Thanksgiving Part II!...

Sr. Judy Donohue, SCN, Professes First Vows

Congratulations to Sr. Judy Donohue, SCN, who professed her first vows as a Sister of Charity of Nazareth on August 26, 2017.  Sisters, Associates, family and friends joined Judy for the liturgical celebration, which gave witness to God’s infinite love, in and around us.  We are grateful for Judy’s ‘yes’ to the call to religious life.  May she continue to be ‘impelled by the love of Christ’ as she continues her journey as a Sisters of Charity.  Congratulations Sr. Judy, SCN!  

Sr. Judy signs her vows along with SCN President Susan Gatz
and Judy's witness Susann Gobber

Off to celebrate after a beautiful Mass!

Future of Charity members joined Judy for the celebration.

Seeds of Hope

By Sr. Paris Slapikas, SC Federation Perpetually Professed

      Click HERE to learn more about Paris

      Click HERE to learn more about the SC Federation

Working with men and women who have experienced intimate partner violence and sexual assault is never easy.  Day in and day out our staff is entrusted with the responsibility of being present to people at a time in their lives when they are most vulnerable, emotionally and physically.  Our responsibility to build trusting relationships, model love, offer support, share information and resources, explore coping strategies and develop safety plans is a great responsibility and it is indeed a great privilege.  But being present to another’s deep suffering comes at a cost.  Engaging authentically with each person and their situation and at the same time realizing that the needs of our community far outweigh our capacity is a burden that is deeply felt.  Our staff routinely fears for the safety of those we serve and have to cope with the unknown of what happened to the person after completing the call or transitioning out of our emergency shelter.  And yet, our staff keep on keeping on because the phones continue to ring and the shelter remains filled to capacity.

On August 4th a woman in our community was killed by her partner and one day later another woman killed her husband in order to survive a violent attack and extensive history of domestic violence.  I won’t disclose whether or not these women were served by our agency.  Either way, they are ours.  Every day we field calls and provide shelter to people just like them; men and women at risk for being killed by their partner, the person who is supposed to love, cherish and care for them.  

It is in these times especially that we must recognize seeds of hope even in the midst of extreme suffering and tragedy.  Perhaps it is simply acknowledging the courage it takes for a person to call and share their story, in the woman who thanks you for believing them, the one who can acknowledge it isn’t her fault, perhaps it is in the person who says they feel stronger and more confident in their plan or the one who feels safe in shelter.

I believe it is no coincidence that a former client chose this week, in the midst of our grieving for those whose lives are lost to intimate partner violence, to stop in and let us know she is doing well.  That she is safe, still working, has an apartment and has regained custody of her children.  In spite of the heartache and tears that sometimes accompany this work, it is the seeds of hope and the knowledge and belief that what we do makes a difference in the lives of so many people.  This hope is what brings our amazing Advocates back day in and day out.

This week marks the one year anniversary that our dear Sr. Paula and her great friend, Sr. Margaret were killed.   Many are devastated and outraged by the atrocity in Charlottesville that cost Heather her life and injured many others.  As we go forward wading through the tragedy and heartache that surround us may we be the seeds of hope for others and always be instruments of love and peace.

400 years of Charity: Making God's love visible

By Sr. Tracy Kemme, SC Federation Initially Professed

      Click HERE to learn more about Tracy

      Click HERE to learn more about the SC Federation

At the end of July, I traveled to Pedro Carbo, Ecuador, with the Sisters of Charity Seton Hill interprovincial charism experience.  Each year, Korean and American Sisters visit and volunteer at the Korean sisters’ mission, a clinic and school for kids with special needs.  This summer marked my fifth time accompanying the group as a Spanish interpreter.  At the end of the week, I led a retreat with SC discerner, Marylu, for school staff, clinic staff, and local parishioners.  The Sisters asked us to focus on the 400^th anniversary of the charism of Charity.

Preparing the retreat was profoundly enriching for me.  As I delved more deeply into the roots of the charism to which I have vowed my life, my own understanding of my call deepened and expanded.  How did the charism of Charity come about?  And what does that mean today?

Our retreat group, celebrating 400 years of Charity

Four hundred years ago, in January of 1617, St. Vincent de Paul experienced a conversion moment that would drive the course of the rest of his life.  In the northern French town Folleville, he heard a confession at the bedside of a dying peasant who had lived a life of loneliness and pain.  Vincent’s heart moved within him as he received the man’s suffering. He realized that this man never, in his whole life, had experienced God’s powerful love for him through another person.  And he realized that many on the margins were equally spiritually abandoned.

Vincent’s mission materialized: to bring divine love to all.  The mission overcame him with beautiful urgency. He knew he must spend every day of his life trying to make sure that no one would go without the love of God.  He felt especially urged to the margins, to those people who were poor, excluded, and oppressed. He felt called to enter into relationship with them and to align his worldview with theirs.  He felt called to make love visible through service.

Vincent said, “…Let us love God, but let it be with the strength of our arms and the sweat of our brow.”  This mission tugs at my heartstrings.  I am called to make God’s love visible, concrete, tangible.  In my encounters, do I embody love?  Do I feel the same urgency that Vincent felt?

August of 1617 brought the second part of Vincent’s conversion.  This month 400 hundred years ago in Chatillon-les-Dombes, France, he became aware of a peasant family who was dying of hunger.  He preached an impassioned sermon begging for action on behalf of the family.  The whole town responded with great generosity, and the family had enough food for a few days.  Vincent was touched by the outpouring, but he was also troubled.  What would happen when the food ran out?

Vincent had an epiphany that became central to the charism.  In order to make a sustaining impact, we must organize.  Over the next years, Vincent recruited other priests, sisters, and laypeople to help in his mission of love.  They tackled the major social injustices of their day, responding to needs for healthcare, education, and more.  Vincent also became an advocate for systemic change.  Throughout his life, he maintained relationships with people of influence, making them aware of important issues and urging their support.  Late in life, he served on an advisory council for the Queen, where he kept the needs of the poor before her and fought for just legislation.

Our charism insists that God’s love must be made manifest through action, and that must happen on an individual as well as a societal level.  For those not familiar with our charism, common definitions of the word “charity” could be problematic.  The thrust of our energy is not one-sided aid, welfare, or relief.  We are urged by the love of Christ to make that love evident through service and seeking justice.

Racial justice activist Dr. Cornel West says, “Justice is what love looks like in public.”  In the wake of the horrific display of hate in Charlottesville, that succinct but powerful phrase is a call to those of us who claim to live the charism of Charity – and to all Christians.

Charity may begin at home, but it must not stay there.  We experience the marvelous love of God in our lives, and it compels us to act.  Where there is hatred, we cannot be silent bystanders; we must sow love.  Our lives must make clear the love of Christ.  In our daily encounters and in our social and political engagement, do we make divine love visible?

Mother Teresa of Calcutta, founder of another charity tradition, said, “Do small things with great love.”  Yes, AND:  Do big things with great love, too.  These times need the fire of Charity.

A Poem Prayer for Moving Forward

By Victoria Hood, SC Federation Candidate

      Click HERE to learn more about Victoria

      Click HERE to learn more about the SC Federation

Life is a constant, moving forward

And so we thank You, Lord

For every day and every opportunity

To reach out to all our brothers and sisters

In charity, love, joy and prayer

So that all may lead elevated lives.

When reaching out to each other

Presents us with various challenges

I ask that You grant us

Confidence, faith, strength and courage

To meet each one with open minds, hearts and wills

And that You remind us

That we never reach out or meet a challenge alone.

How Free Cell reflects that God is always giving us another chance and another chance!

By Sr. Judy Donohue, SC Federation Apostolic Novice

      Click HERE to learn more about Judy

      Click HERE to learn more about the SC Federation

On July 26, I finished up my vow prep retreat at the Mercy Retreat Center in St. Louis, MO.

artwork at the
Mercy Retreat Center

While there I met several people on retreat, and at mass. I noticed how meeting the two Mercy Sister Canonical novices for lunch, Kelly and Moira boosted my spirit. It was so nice seeing other women in the Novitiate. We shared the joys and challenges of being in formation.

some of my coloring

During my retreat, I met with my spiritual director each day. It was freeing to share everything that was on my heart and to share with her my fears, hopes, dreams and feelings.  She was a comforting listening ear.  I walked the Labyrinth each day reflecting on the changing of directions and my own experience of changing feelings and paths. I did some colored pencil coloring, walking and quiet prayer in the chapel.  In reflecting on God’s goodness to me to have come this far, I looked at what a grace the vows have been.  Obedience reminds me to ask for help when I need it.  I am not in this alone. Poverty reminds me to be a good steward of all I have been given.  Chastity reminds me to treat each person with respect for we are all trying to do our best. I am grateful for my vocation and the time everyone has put into making me the person I am today.

I’ve also noticed at night before I go to bed, when I played free cell on my IPad that I could play again and again and again until I get it right. This helps me understand that God allows us to keep learning lessons until we get it right.  This realization helps me to be patient with myself when I want to know everything now. I have to wait like everyone else.  God’s love is more patient than mine. God is able to take me where God wants me to go. I have enjoyed the ride. Keep me in prayer for I will be making my vows in 24 days on August 26!